The shit on Facebook. Honestly.
realest shit ever.
People frequently ask me, is it true that Pigs are very clean animals? I always answer yes, but this week Ludwig really outdid himself.
You see my little (100 lb) pig toddler threw up on the couch (a very uncommon occurrence, and my fault for letting him ‘clean up’ all that cottage cheese I dropped). So when I saw the mess I took him outside to graze (hoping he would stay outside so I could clean the couch). But as is often the case Ludwig followed me back inside immediately, so I thought to myself, if I have to clean the couch, I might as well go pee first, and when I came back out of the washroom this is what I found:
Ludwig had grabbed a roll of paper towel and had started to clean the couch himself!
So yeah, pigs are very clean animals.
And so smart! This is amazing, I would love to adopt a companion pig :)
Yesterday my friend and I were walking out of Forever 21 and the wind blew my skirt up a little. I had shorts on underneath (for this very reason) but two guys in a parked car saw it happen and yelled at me to lift it more, I yelled back, “fuck you!” and they laughed. So I took my pocket knife out of my bag and said, “I will slash your fucking tires” and they did not laugh
I hate my dad. I had to leave class because I burst into tears after he told me what a horrible daughter I am. So fuck everything.